


Lose You

by martinward (orphan_account)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, sweet little dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/martinward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Can you lose what you never did have<br/>It's hard to hold there in your hands<br/>Was my assumption running too fast<br/>Did I lose you, or did I lose you,<br/>Letting go is the hardest part<br/>Like holding on to a shooting star<br/>Was my assumption running too far<br/>Did I lose you, or did I lose you?<br/>Did I lose you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lose You

 

Felicity keeps seeing Oliver, the same way standing right in front of her. He looks pleased with himself and she can't wait to hear those 3 words all over again.

"I love you." He says.

Everything is perfect until that part. And all of the sudden, Felicity sees herself somewhere completely different. It's dark, and she's cold. She doesn't feels safe. She screams Oliver's name but he's not there to save her. Oliver is gone is all she can think about. And she starts to feel like she can no longer breathe. She starts to have chest pains and she's pretty sure she's about to have a panic attack. She's alone and there's no one else around to save her.

But then, it all goes back to the start. She's in the arrow cave, again. And Oliver is there. He smiles, like he's comfortable with what he's about to say. But this time it doesn't surprises Felicity. She knows what's going to happen, she has seen this over and over again. 

"I love you." Oliver says.

But before she has a chance to say it back, at least this time. He's gone. And she's back in the dark place. She keeps losing him. 

"I love you too Oliver." She whispers.

                                                                                                                      ~

Felicity wakes up crying. She feels overwhelmed and she can't breathe. She's sweating all over the place. She turns around to look at the clock and it's 3am. She was able to sleep for one hour. This has been going on every single night. Every time Felicity tries to sleep, she's haunted by those dreams or in fact more like nightmares. And every single time after she wakes up, she picks up her phone and she calls Oliver. She's well aware that he won't be there to answer. But she just needs to listen to his voice.

For the rest of the night, Felicity stays awake. Going back to sleep is too painful. She can't control her dreams and she can't handle losing Oliver over and over again. She now regrets not saying it back, not giving him a hug, not saying how much she cared for him. What he meant for her. Now he was gone and there was nothing she could possibly do. She hasn't talked to Roy, or Laurel, or basically anyone in the last few days. Seeing them in pain would just cause her to feel even worse. At least she was not yet prepared to face them. Laurel was focus on her mission about her sister, but Felicity knew who the killer was, and due to Oliver's death circumstances, she couldn't face her at all.

Roy was supporting Thea. At first Diggle thought it was best to not let her know. Just like Laurel kept as a secret Sara's death. And they tried that, but what could they possibly say to justify Oliver's absence? 

But this time Felicity ends up falling asleep again, but on the couch. She falls asleep thinking about Oliver.

                                                 

                                                                                                                     ~

"Felicity?"

"Yes. I'm here." She says and then she sees Oliver. They are at her house and he's holding a bag of groceries. 

"Brought something for dinner. Thought we could stay in doors for the night."

"Sounds amazing." She replies and she goes near him.

Oliver puts the bags down, and he embraces her. He leans towards her face and kisses her gently. Felicity feels so good in his arms that she begs for more and not just one tiny kiss but Oliver laughs and teases her. Saying they should leave that energy for later.

"Oh Oliver. You spoil me too much." she says as she takes the groceries out of the bag.

Together they prepare dinner. Felicity loves when Oliver decides they should just stay home. In her mind there's no such thing as the Arrow. All she sees in that moment is Oliver Queen. 

"This tastes so good." Felicity says.

Oliver smiles. And for her, that's the best smile she has ever seen in her entire life. 

After dinner, they decide to have a movie night. Everything seemed to perfect and normal, no one was in dangerous, Oliver didn't had to in some Arrow mission. For once, they were a normal couple.

"Felicity..." She looks up to face him. "I love you."

"I love..." But before she has a chance to finish her sentence everything is gone. She's no longer in the couch in Oliver's arm. She's again, alone in the dark. There's nothing else but sadness all over her, anger... Suddenly she feels like she's in dangerous. Her first reaction is to call Oliver. She does it over and over again, but he's not there. She's alone. 

                                                                                                                  ~

She wakes up startled. But this time Felicity isn't crying. This dream was different. She saw something she never had before. She never had Oliver, at least not like that. Not as a couple. She lost him when she didn't even had him in the first place, yet the pain was too much to handle. And those dreams were the proof she needed to finally accept that she has lost him, there was no way of turning back. But deep down she kept some hope. She has seen, by Oliver's side, people who were supposed to be dead, walking around like nothing happened. Deep down Felicity was still hoping that she would see Oliver again. That she could finally say the words that have been haunting her in her dreams. To be able to tell him how much she loves him, and have faith that she will never lose him again.

She decides it's time to get back to work. She couldn't continue to live that life, drown in despair, suffocated with tears. Oliver wouldn't want to see her like this, he would want her to fight, to keep going. And so she does finally.

Felicity is getting ready. She takes a shower, puts on a dress and gets a coat. It was dark in her house. The weather outside wasn't exactly that great, meaning there was no light coming in. And it was cold. On her way to the door, she looks around and she feels exactly the same way she feels in her dream. It's dark and she's completely alone. As she stands there, she realizes how lonely she is. She isn't in danger, but she feels that way somehow. She picks up her phone to call Ray and tell him she's coming in for work. After she finishes the call, she looks around one more time. It's so dark she can barely see a thing. She feels a breeze and she wonders if she left her window open. She could swear she didn't, but she quickly ignores it. 

She wants to go but it's nearly as something or someone was keeping her in. 

_Oliver..._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> After last episode I needed something to release my pain, or at least use for it something. So what a better way than to write some Olicity fan fiction.  
> Now, I know we all know, that Oliver most likely is not dead. Or well, he is dead. But he's coming back. Or any other theory that goes around that we will have to see. Either way, sorry for the caused pain and I hope you find some way to enjoy this. And I'll leave the end to your imagination and let you take your own conclusions.


End file.
